Today's Photo

Dropping things off to Emma at the old folks home is never a simple affair.  It isn't just because she is never happy with anything- either it isn't the right brand or the right size or that her neighbor is stealing the toilet paper.  Nor is it because I have to hide snacks and cat food under her bed while she complains about things that she will not let me change. 

Over the last year I have gotten to know many of the women who live there, if one would call that purgatory living.  Although some have dementia or Alzheimer's many of them are quite lucid and sociable.  These ladies are so loving and dear and they are all lonely.  I visit them in the halls or in their rooms where they great me with tons of hugs and kisses and more of the same.  Some don't remember me from visit to visit but never hesitate to grab me and hang on.  Today, Lee, who is 104 looked up into my face with her beautiful, blurry, blue eyes then clung onto my hand as she kissed it, asking who I was. 

It breaks my heart every time I am there knowing that most of these folks have family, many nearby, who don't bother to visit.  Years ago when I volunteered to spend time with home-bound elderly I would find myself in tears after leaving them.  What a fucked-up society we live in where we don't value the wisdom of age and abandon our kin.  All of my elders are dead so it's a privilege for me to be allowed into the hearts of these lovely people.

I have been bringing my camera with me but have been unable to photograph my old ladies because they haven't had their hair done.  So, today I warned them that next time I would come on a Saturday and they wouldn't have an excuse, having had their hair set the day before.

So, I shot the table and chairs outside the home.  When the weather is nicer I am going to shoot Micky out there with her fancy Chinese parasol.  She used to manage a mobile home park in southern California where the inhabitants had nightly cocktails, she is a feisty, little thing!

A Photo A Day Keeps The Blues Away

After being ill for nearly 2 weeks I am out and about and almost feeling normal.  Not feeling so gloomy-doomy is rather nice.  It is still friggin' cold, the heater is still not working but I just might make it.  I have decided to take at least one photo each day and find the beauty around me even though this is obviously not my favorite time of year.

Wintertime of My Discontent

There is a feeling in my chest like screams or sobs, like something dear has been lost.  The desires and motivation I so recently felt now elude me.  Memories of joy and loss, what has never been and that which I seek, creep into my dreams, the residue of which lingers but does not prompt action.  If I could hibernate thru the cold, dream some more, awaken to a warm sun...     Geez, I hate being sick!

Being Sick Pretty Much Sucks!

Feeling completely useless, disgusting, and tired of being laid up.  Been mostly in bed since Wednesday afternoon either freezing or sweatingly hot.  Lentil soup, hot tea, Emergen-C and Theraflu, crazy long dreams and nightmares, days merging into days into dreams into nightmares into.........

Stood outside for a few moments to remind myself that this is not all there is.

I can't go back there.

Okay, I have been (had to dump the compost) but I didn't let my eyes wander from the path.  Death and decay. Yes, all necessary but still hard to look at.  I am sure the Elephant Ears have shriveled up, leaves cover everything, forget about the flowers and the few remaining green tomatoes still clinging to the vine, they haven't a chance. 

I am being dramatic, I know. The weather has been lovely lately, gotta love that global warming, but I want to remember the garden as it was, as it shall be again. 

To fight off The Great Sadness, I've been fiddling around with more photography and photoshop.  When I had the camera shop I rebelled against digital, great for others but never for me except to document.  I didn't see what all the fuss was about, I loved my black and white film and nothing was gonna change that.  I haven't been in my darkroom in 3 years.  I used to love to lose myself in that small space for hours with just the smell of fixer and Tool on the cd player. 

I have always been a technophobe but this modern age has drawn me in, at least where digital photography is concerned. I can create a beautiful place to escape to for a bit even when my real world is cold, uninviting and out of my control. 

This image is a combination of 3 photos taken in the last couple of months.  I know I am still a hack but it's part of the learning process.  And, I'm having fun!

Booger and Eddy

They are still here and every day it gets harder to think of finding them new homes. 

Eddy (named after Sir Edmond Hillary) is adventurous and quite loving.  Booger (has a little white spot by his nose) is a bit shy but quick to purr. 

At night we snuggle on the couch. Nothing better than that, except if they had puppy breath!

Second Saturday Fun- photos in reverse order, oops!

It was a beautiful night, especially for November, and a light jacket was enough warmth.  The honey wasn't in the mood for crowds, so I was dropped near the alley where some of my pieces were hung in 3 new condos.  They worked well with the modern architecture and furnishings.  I was really happy to hear that the developer, architects and designer loved them. 

Being Sacramento, you are bound to run into tons of folks you know.  Turns out I knew the architects and the designer and ran into my friend Jim.  He took us out for Tequila shots at a nearby restaurant.  From there I walked to my next destination, the gallery where my friend Phil Simpson's ceramics were being shown.  The place was packed and difficult to see the works, especially so because there were ballet dancers performing in the room.

As I walked to the next venue I saw thru the windows of a gallery the most amazing sight.  A burned forest, not the sort of art typical of Sacramento.  We don't see a lot in installations here, lack of funding I suppose.

The wife of the artist approached me because I was taking tons of photos.  She wasn't angry, just curious.  We talked for a long time and she introduced me to her husband Gong Yeubin.  Both lovely and engaging people.  I stood back and watched the reactions and interactions of the crowd who walked between the charred, painted and chained forest with faces filled with awe.  The environment had a strange draw, I felt reverent and in the midst of spirits.  Then a fellow offered me a shot of tequila!

From there I ended up at the Bicycle Cafe where my friend Larry Rodriguez was dj-ing and celebrating his birthday.  Another shot of tequila! Old friends, new friends, great conversations, some palm reading, beer on tap, dancing, then the police.  We got "locked down" by the owner of the business and stuck for a bit.  Eventually, they let us out. 

Happy Birthday Flower Vato!

The Curse of The Two Rivers

Some people in Sacramento believe in The Curse.  It's supposedly derived from an old Native American belief about the power of the two rivers
(The Sacramento and The American).  The "curse" comes into play when someone swears to never live in Sacramento again but is inexplicably drawn back. 

I have always loved my city, especially because of the rivers.  We grew up on the American River.  Spent our summers (all day, every day) swimming, sunbathing, and jumping off "Big Bertha". As teenagers we skipped high school to do "bad things" at the river, we hid from park rangers on weekend nights, rafted it on the 4th of July, and picked up trash along its' banks (never could understand the desire to spend time in a beautiful place but leave crap behind). 

My best dreams are when I am floating on my back down a river watching the trees and sky pass over head and the feeling of complete contentment.  I prefer a river to the ocean.  The ocean is endless and intimidating for me but a river is intimate and enfolding (well, maybe not The Nile).

Today we went to The Sacramento River, much different than The American as it is wider, the cliffs are usually steeper, not great for beaches, and the plant life is quite different.  We live about 8 minutes drive from where we were today.  How can I drive over it nearly every day and ignore its' beauty?  I have no good excuses.

I'd nearly forgotten that I am supposed to put some photos in a show on Tuesday. They are to go into some new condo in midtown for Second Saturday. The condo is being furnished with mid-century modern furniture and I have been in a quandary as to what I should shoot. So, I photographed some burned California Wild Grape vines and isolated sections- going for a sort of abstract, minimal thing. I like them, not really "my style", but will anyone else?